Section 12: Ready
Hailey reflects on her most recent journey while excited for the next one
This is section 12 of The Other Side of the Ocean. You can also start at section 1 or go back to section 11.
It takes my mind a moment to move from the morning I just experienced to the fact that someone is at the door, asking for me.
But as I spin on the bottom step to face the entryway, I see a flash of black hair peeking out of a dark blue jacket and I immediately bound over excitedly.
“Almira! This is a nice surprise.”
Dad heads towards the stairs with a smile and a wave. I smile back before grabbing my coat and stepping outside, closing the door behind me.
Almira steps back to make room for me on the front porch, her gaze concentrated on my face. “Hey. I wanted to ask—how are you doing?”
Her gaze is particularly piercing, scrutinizing, and I try to see things from her perspective.
I think back to how Almira reacted when I opened up to her weeks ago—how she listened and responded in ways that showed me she’s here for me, and that she trusts me with her stuff too. Yesterday, she watched my secret get broadcast to the entire twelfth grade.
“I know you did something”—her gaze drops, then she looks at me again—“amazing yesterday. You embraced the moment, shared what you’re going through and inspired at least both Sandra and me to be more open about what we’re going through. And you looked really happy after. Like, really happy.” My heart is warming slowly as I revisit everything she’s saying. “But, I still want to ask—how are you?”
I take in a deep breath, let it back out, and suddenly burst out laughing. “I honestly feel better than I have in a long time. Listen, uh, come.” I gesture for Almira to follow me further down our walkway, till we’re almost at the driveway. Then I look back at the house, making sure the windows are closed and no one’s listening. I lower onto the step and Almira sits a few paces away from me, leaning forward slightly, ready to listen.
I update Almira on the morning, keeping some special moments private between me and my parents, but telling her enough that her jaw drops, her hands fly to her cheeks and her eyes maybe, maybe glisten with emotion too.
When I’m done sharing, Almira leans forward and gives me a tight hug. “Wow, that’s, that’s special. I don’t even know what to say.” She pulls back and we both exchange smiles. “I’m so happy for you!”
I squint up at the morning sun. “There’s kind of more, I just remembered.” I fill Almira in on my choice of university and program.
Almira shakes her head. “No way. No way.”
I sit up. “What, no way?”
She laughs. “Hailey, I’m also going to university downtown. Not the same one, but we could probably meet up halfway sometimes.”
I perk up. A chance to see a friendly face nearby? “Uh, of course! I’d love to. If you’re staying at home, we can meet up sometimes like we do now too.”
Almira is already nodding, a big smile on her face. “I am staying home, and that sounds perfect.” She lifts her gaze towards the sky, blinking rapidly before holding her hand over her eyes like a roof. “I’m really happy for you, Hailey. You’re on a roll.”
I smile again, leaning back against the house. “It wasn’t easy.”
Almira waves her hands in front of her. “No, sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”
I wave one of my hands dismissively too. “Oh, no, I know you didn’t. I just meant, it wasn’t an easy path.” I close my eyes and think back to how deeply panicked I felt, the uncontrollable fear, the weight that didn’t creep but rather bulldozed its way into my life, taking over, until I went to see Ms. Fortier and found that letter, and acted quickly last night at school, and calmly approached my parents today.
I let out a deep breath, releasing the tension building ever so slightly in my chest at the thought of it all. That’s behind me now. I did it. I finally figured out—ironically, or perhaps appropriately—at an event dedicated to our postsecondary future that what was causing the attacks all along was an anxiety that I wasn’t dealing with at all, anxiety that I know Ms. Fortier would agree I can control, I can accept, I can manage. Last night, I took multiple steps forward to face my fear publicly and I made a choice for my postsecondary future that I actually feel excited about.
And Mom and Dad and I—I was afraid that following the doctor’s suggestion to look into the past would hurt what we have but, somehow, I realize, it’s strengthened it.
I open my eyes, a little reluctant, since the sun felt nice, warm, cozy and reassuring on my eyelids. Nice, warm and cozy, like the feeling I get thinking about the conversations and hugs we shared this morning.
Almira is nodding and giving me a small smile. “Far from easy. And you did it.”
I tilt my head. “You know, you did something amazing yesterday too.” I don’t say it but we both know it’s a big deal that Almira spoke up. “How are you?”
Almira blushes, fiddling her hands in her lap. “I still can’t believe I raised my voice like that. Not the part about going to see Ms. Fortier—I think that’s important to talk about.” I nod in complete agreement, feeling on a deep level that what we did yesterday will have a positive ripple effect that will hopefully help other kids too.
“I feel a bit nervous about how kids might look at me on Monday, but honestly.” Almira laughs and leans back, resting on her palms, before folding forward again. “It felt really good to say how I felt, and to be heard.”
I beam. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m really happy for you, too. And…you defended me. Thank you for that, again.”
“Hey, I’ve got your back any day.”
“And I’ve got yours.”
We’re both quiet and, again, I find myself both marvelling at and not surprised by how comfortable it feels.
While I’m leaning back against the house, facing Almira, my gaze turned toward our front porch and the trees that frame the front walkway, Almira sits forward, facing the sidewalk, her arms wrapped around her legs. She looks pensive.
Finally, she speaks. “You knew something was different, and so you talked to Ms. Fortier. Right?”
“Right.”
“And then you talked to your parents.”
“Yeah.”
Almira nods. “You know what?” She stands up, brushing imaginary dirt off her pants. “I’m going to go have a conversation.”
I chuckle and stand up too, pointing. “Ah, I see what you did there. I think you mean you want to go home and talk to your brothers, but it’s because you want to talk about being heard, two-way street, a conversation.”
Almira laughs and brushes one hand in the air while backing down the driveway. “Very funny, Hailey! Haha.” But there’s a smile on her face that’s full of confidence, hope and a sense of ease that I’m happy to see and that maybe our friendship helped put there. A friendship where we both support each other and make each other laugh and through which we’ve already shown we’re there for each other.
I shout, “Wait!”
Almira stops and I meet her halfway down the driveway.
“Thank you for coming to check on me.”
Almira smiles. “Of course.”
“Thank you for all your support these past couple of weeks.”
“Always. And thank you for your support.”
“Always.”
I lean in and give Almira a tight hug, stepping back and waving until all I can see is the back of her parents’ car before she turns the corner to go home.
As I head up the walkway and step back into the house, I remember a day weeks ago when I walked in and smelled the familiar, comforting smells of chicken paprikash. Today, it smells like vanilla and maple syrup and the coffee my parents had for breakfast.
Mom and Dad both turn around, hats on and coats zipped up.
Mom smiles at me. “Ready?”
For lunch? For university? For the next steps on my journey?
I look at them both and, again, see that love on both their faces that I know we share forever.
I reach for their hands and smile. “I’m ready.”
Dear readers, WOW. Hailey feels ready and The Other Side of the Ocean is ready too. This story is complete! Thank you SO much for every vote, like and read. We didn’t know what this story would look like when we started the first Collaborative Tale and I’m so happy with what it has become. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it too!